A New Routine To Be Added!

Today's prompt for journaling asks me: What can you do to take better care of yourself?

Well, there are many things that I can do. My daily activities keep me physically active but I could do with some physical exercises that I should do with mindfulness. Walking happens, but it is not related to fitness. I make three trips totally to the kid's school - once in the morning to drop him off, next to deliver his lunch-box and finally to pick him up. I also visit the temple next to his school every morning. Collectively, all the walking I do during these times amounts to a reasonable time every day. And yet, it does not feel like I have worked out. I could do with some quality time of physical fitness.

I really, really tried meditation but it is not working for me, as I said in my previous blog. Even Yoga makes me feel sleepy nowadays. I want to resume my practice of Yoga. I could devote at least 15 minutes every day for the same. 

I could do with some better options for my food intake. I ensure to include veggies in the daily diet but there is surely room for some fruit or salad too. I love trying out new recipes and keep searching for the same. Probably I could add some salad and fruit for lunch every day. That seems like something I can do. 

I could spend a few minutes to practice the lost art of doing nothing. Probably my attention-deficiency is the culprit here, but I feel the need to be constantly occupied, doing something or the other. Even if there is nothing to do, I find myself pacing from one end of the room to another, thinking about what I can do at that particular moment. I could learn to relax and just be, and not do anything for at least few minutes every day. 

It feels weird that until I wrote this, I haven't given any special importance to self-care. I am gradually realizing the role of journaling in mental well-being. It brings to the forefront, many things that we often tend to ignore or to take for granted. I have to admit that I am enjoying this ritual of writing every evening, even though it makes me uncomfortable to share my reflections in my blogs. But I share these with the hope that they will help someone who is reading these, and can relate to my thoughts, and will feel better at least for a short while.

To sum it up, these are some new additions to be added to my days:

- Physical activity / walking for fitness for at least 15 minutes every day.

- Yoga and meditation for 15 minutes.

- Fruit or a salad every day.

- At least for 5 minutes, not doing anything at all and simply being just me.

Here's hoping that a new routine forms in my day and I keep up with the same!

Of Finding Safety And Security

How quickly the weekend zooms by! It feels like just an hour ago Saturday morning dawned and now we are already facing Sunday evening blues. 

Today's prompt for journaling asks me a very interesting question: What comes to your mind when you think about what makes you feel safe?

Safety or security is something that every human craves for. Yet every one finds security in different things. For some, it is money. For others, it is the presence of people in their life. For me, it used to be my childhood home and my family. As I grew up, I included friends in the security blanket. When I started earning money, my job became my security. When I got married, another family extended my security blanket. 

But things changed, as they always do. I left my hometown, and thereby my childhood home and shifted to a new place. I left my job and my friends behind in my hometown. In a new place and culture, I realized that security cannot be found in things or people. 

For now, routine makes me feel safe. I am a stickler for routine and I do the same things at the allotted time every day. When I know that there is a routine to be followed, I feel safe and comforted. Call this a crazy or peculiar trait, but it works for me. The days in which the routine gets disrupted, I feel imbalanced and chaotic. Routine has somehow become a solid foundation for my day. 

Prayer makes me feel safe. It has been my go-to since childhood. Chanting mantras calms me down when I realize that I am on the verge of panicking or breaking down. The temple in my home makes me feel secure. The temple in my colony brings me comfort. 

While there are many things that I dread, I also know that they are inevitable. This acceptance makes me feel secure. I know that difficult times will come, but they will pass too and life will move on. This harsh truth gives a perverse kind of comfort. That the wheels of time never stop, and time is the greatest healer, comforts me. No matter how difficult times might be at one point, they will change. 

Morning is both my favourite part of the day as well as the safest part. I love early mornings when the daylight hasn't broken out yet but the birds are already up and active. The sound of the lift in my building going up and down as delivery-guys rush through their deliveries of milk and veggies is a comforting part of the morning. I specially love the time 4 a.m. There is something very beautiful and auspicious about this time. Somedays I wake up and see the time and if it is 4, I feel a strange kind of peace. 

Knowledge makes me feel safe. I often dread diseases and their symptoms but reading about them and knowing what to expect, soothes my fears regarding them. Knowledge is indeed the best security for the mind!

Studying about the Universe both scares me and makes me feel safe. I dread its vastness and infinity. I am also in awe of the same. That I am a part of this infinite void, and I always will be, comforts me and makes me feel safe too.

I guess the biggest security lies in the intangible. Things are temporary, people have limitations but the intangible concepts like prayer, knowledge, the universal consciousness - these are forever. I base my security in these and they do not disappoint me. When things go down in spite of all these factors, there is always that one assuring thought - 'At this moment, almost everything is all right.' This forms the basis of mindful meditation. Nothing grounds the self as this thought. As long as everything is okay for NOW, there is still hope, and where there is hope, things can change for the better! 

On Self-care And Mental Wellbeing!

Today's journaling prompt asks me - what is your favourite form of self-care? 

One of the biggest lessons that life has taught me is that, mind matters a lot. If the mind is healthy, so is the body. If the mind is sick, the body is sick too! I have seen people lose 20 kgs in just a matter of two to three months all due to anxiety. I have seen people overcome major illnesses with the strength of their mind. I have seen people live through various traumatic experiences and carry on in their lives, all because they had strong minds. So my form of self-care would be to take care of my mind.

Unfortunately, the daily irritations of life have started taking up too much space in the mind and I find myself losing my calm over petty issues. Most of all, the mind is weakest in the evenings and brings in anxiety and worries of the present as well as the foreseeable future. Situations became dire to an extent and that is when I started paying more attention to mental well-being.

I would like to share some of the things that I do for mental peace.

Reading: 

This seems to be a recurring theme in all of my journals. But reading really helps me to relax and to calm down. I read for about three hours every day. In the afternoon I read books on fiction mostly. In the evening, to fight its gloom, I read books on spirituality and philosophy. Sometimes the gloom makes it difficult to concentrate on just one book. So I made it a point to read one chapter from multiple books every evening. Currently I am reading from the following: Mindful Zen Habits by Marc Reklau, Be Your Own Sunshine by James Allen, Patanjali Yoga Sutras by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh and The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma. While these make my desk cluttered, they help to clear the mind sure! Reading makes evenings far less gloomier for me.

Learning New Languages:

This actually started in sheer desperation. When my kid was in the second grade, Telugu classes began in school. However, that year being 2020, while the rest of the subjects had online classes, Telugu had only offline sessions. Plus, it was intimated to us by the school that Telugu isn't compulsory. So none of us at home paid attention to the offline classes or tried to learn. All of a sudden, in the fourth grade, when the school finally started conducting physical classes, we came to know that the government has made it compulsory for all schools to conduct exams for Telugu. Since my kid had no basic foundation for the subject, we all had a difficult time trying to learn it. Google helped to an extent. But then I realized that this is going to be an issue every year. So I started learning Telugu alphabets. When I started writing the alphabets, I realized that I cannot write in Tamil or Malayalam as well, these two being the native languages of my ancestral village Palakkad. So I decided to learn all three at a time. I am still stuck up in the alphabets and have a long way to go! But learning new languages takes off the focus from daily responsibilities and makes me feel young in my mind. This is a much loved ritual of the day - writing down the alphabets in my book and trying to memorize them.

Mindful Meditation:

I tried the normal method of meditation but realized very soon that I am not cut out for this. Either the mind kept running here and there or I nodded off in blissful sleep. So I gave up my attempts to meditate and now I am trying mindfulness meditation. It is nothing but trying to do every work mindfully. Walking? Take deep breaths in and out and walk in rhythm with the breaths. Cleaning? Focus on the task and its intricacies and do it with a relaxed frame of mind. Cooking? Feel every texture of the veggie/fruit you are cooking with, take in the aroma of the dishes being prepared and lose yourself in the activity to such an extent that you and the activity become one. I have to admit that this is extremely difficult for me and more often, my mind wanders and I fail at the task. But I attempt it every day and just the thought that I am trying to it makes me feel better and gives me hope that someday I will be able to do this effectively.

Yes to astronomy, No to politics!

I am fascinated by the subject of astronomy. I follow news on this topic and find myself mesmerized by the breath-taking visuals that many space-crafts and telescopes send every day, bringing the vast space a bit closer to humankind. Astronomy fills my mind with wonder. It makes me realize that I am a part of a gloriously infinite and beautiful universe. I totally refrain from reading any kind of political or general news. It throws me into deeper gloom. I do not watch the news, neither do I read it. The world is better and kinder when you do not watch the daily news!

Journaling:

This is a new attempt from me and I have journaled only for few days till now. It helps me to clear my mind and brings to my notice, the things that I am probably doing wrong or ought to have done or should do. I like the ritual of writing down my thoughts about something positive. Since journaling does not come to me naturally, I search for prompts every day and am writing on them. So far so good. I hope to keep up this practice every evening. 

These are just some of the daily attempts I do to keep the mind calm. Some days I succeed, most of the days I fail. But the struggle is real, as they say, and so is my intention to pursue mental well-being. Hopefully someday I will reach that place of inner contentment and peace that I so seek. Until then, the journal is there, the mindful meditation is there and so are the books!

Inspiration, where art thou!?

As a self-help seeker, I usually read lot of books of this genre and even listen to podcasts by authors like Robin Sharma who is my favourite author in this genre. A strange thrill comes over me when I read his works or listen to his podcasts. There is this intense feeling to do something and to not to just laze through life. 

Today's prompt for journaling asks me - What inspires you the most? This is a slightly difficult prompt, if you ask me. 

I think that I am mostly inspired by people who are not afraid of anything in life. I, for one, am always conscious about mortality. Almost every thing I do, I do it considering the fragile nature of life. I do not plan tasks for more than a week. I do not plan savings for more than six months. I do not make any travel plan exceeding four months. While many might consider this as a peculiar trait, I find it a bit difficult to let go of the thought that life is short, and it is futile to make long-range plans. 

But I know people who live life to the fullest, not giving any second thought to the future. They enjoy every minute, every day, every thing they do because they live fully in the moment. The thought of mortality does not let me be happy or to enjoy moments. It makes me stoic. I do not allow myself to be very happy or extremely sad. I take things as they are, knowing that everything is temporary. While this has helped to get through difficult times, I wish I had the ability to enjoy more. One can be aware of their mortality and still lead a happy and carefree life. I wish I could be one of these!

I am inspired by children who realize their aim at a very young age and pursue it against all odds. There is nothing more motivating than seeing a child on a trajectory of success and growth, all because he/she has recognized the aim of their life and pursued it relentlessly. Much is in the favour of a child - age, a mind devoid of negativity, opportunities to grow and develop, the chance to learn, time to pursue their dreams - so much! It is inspiring to see them set off on their journey to success and stand tall against all odds.

I will come back to the books of Robin Sharma. He weaves such fantastic tales of people conquering all odds and enjoying a life of leisure. I find that inspiring. To have struggled through life with unwavering dedication to your goal, to have achieved it ultimately and to enjoy it - now that would be success! 

People who are struggling through life but hold their head high and do not give in to negativity and despair - they inspire me. People who are not afraid to speak their mind, who are their unapologetic, original and wonderful selves always and who show no fear - they inspire me. Confident people inspire me. At the phase of early forties, reaching the state of supreme indifference to others and being my own original self feels slightly overwhelming. But I can learn!

Most of all, I wish I could learn to enjoy the every day moments of life without the sword of my mortality hanging over my head. Nothing, absolutely nothing makes me forget this. And while it is necessary to be aware of the fragile nature of life, always contemplating on it can also bring in a sense of detachment which is not always good. 

Today's prompt has brought in a new task. The quest is set - to learn to live every moment and every day and also to enjoy it without giving a thought to the future. THIS is a new moment - why not start right now!?

A Perfect Day!

I am a huge fan of self-help books. In most of the books that I read, I come across one common advice - journal your thoughts. I experimented with journaling some time ago but for some reasons, I could not continue with the same. When so many experts are swearing by this practice, I feel that I should put in some more efforts into this.

I searched for some prompts for journaling. Prompts do make it easier! So the first prompt I came across is this:  How would you spend your perfect day off? What makes that perfect for you?

Do I have ideas about the perfect day! The first thing that comes to my mind is - spending a day in the library. Preferably, a library that also has a cafe. I would lose myself taking stock of the enormous collection of books there, mentally wishing that there existed a vacancy in the library and I could work there (even better, live there!). Then I would pick a book from the adventure-fantasy genre (something like LOTR), sit beside a window with the book in one hand and the other hand holding a plate filled with hot and yummy croissants and blue-berry muffins. Of course, the coffee would follow soon. To make this day better, it would be raining outside. A book, coffee, croissants, muffins and a window overlooking a garden on a rainy afternoon - this is the ultimate bliss for me.

A day spent by the beach would be wonderful too. Walking in the sands of the beach, listening to the gentle sounds of the waves frolicking in the sea, feeling the salty breeze and having some chaat to snack upon, preferably Bhel-puri - this reminds me of perfect moments amidst chaotic days spent in Mumbai.

I had the opportunity of working in Colaba for many years. It is a pleasure to walk in the streets of Mumbai. I feel that a perfect day would be the one spent in Mumbai, spending some time at the subway beside the station, having a burger at McDonalds at Fort or delicious pav-bhaji at Canon Pav Bhaji near the subway, or walking beside the office of ToI near the station. The number of times I have walked by the office, simply to get a glimpse through the glass doors! That was another place where I wished to work, apart from the library. Just spending a whole day in Mumbai CSTM and feeling its heritage aura would be blissful. Planet M, which used to have many stores all over the city but which has sadly shut down now, was one of my favourite places to drop in after office. I loved animation movies. What gave even more thrill than buying a CD was browsing through the collection of CDs and wondering which one to buy. Brother Bear, Hanuman, Mulan (Parts 1 and 2) and the unforgettable Lion King are some of the CDs that made up my precious collection. Watching animation movies never failed to make me happy! Visiting Planet M and browsing through the collection of CDs made up for one of the perfect moments in a tiring day spent at the office, handling irate customers over the phone. Hanging around at the Gateway at the end of the day and watching the Arabian Sea simmer in the glow of the sunset would have been a perfect ending to a perfect day spent in Mumbai.

I am gradually realizing the purpose of this prompt. As the mind conjures happy situations and travels to happy and familiar places, I feel my mood uplifting. There is still the gloom that evenings bring, but it is slightly muted and numb. The numerous prospects for the perfect day have nullified the effect of the gloomy evening. 

I hope to keep up this practice of journaling regularly. It is the little daily irritations that we try to curb and control that manifest in a major breakdown one day. It is better to find some ways to deal with the daily stress of life. While yoga and meditation help a great deal to combat stress, journaling provides an outlet to your thoughts and help to clear your mind. 

I hope the reflections that I shared here help you too and bring recollections and dreams of happier times for you. I would love to hear your thoughts on what would be the perfect day for you. Happy reading and happy journaling!